Rowing

I had this thought when I was doing rowing on the rowing machine in my office gym...On the panel indicator, it tells you how many minutes and seconds
since when you started rowing. It also tells you how many metres you've rowed and it tells you the speed at which you're rowing.

As I was rowing monotonously to reach 2000metres, I thought "this is such a pain and boring thing to do". Yet, I continued doing it...coz I know that it's good for me.
The thought that I had was this: What if you tell a person this "Get on the rowing machine and I want you to focus on maintaining your speed at a constant 2 mins/500m?" Or if you tell a person "I want you to reach a target of 2000metres asap" or "I want you to just get on this rowing machine for 20 minutes?" Which of this will really excite me? I think my behaviour at the rowing machine can actually reveal a lot of my own character. Maintaining the same speed is boring...that's why most people speed on the road... =) no one will like to drive 100km/h ALL the way! Just staying on the machine for 20 minutes would be easy. I can row at whatever speed that I want and not needing to worry about how many metres I've achieved. I guess the thing that will motivate the most is to reach 2000m asap. Hence, whenever I'm on the rowing machine, I always focus on trying to get to 2000m asap.

I had been thinking...I'm someone who's always setting targets and goals that I want to achieve in my life. I've been methodically living my life to ensure that I have all the qualifications and skills that I need to survive in this society. I've been pursuing things that are value-adding to my worth as an individual in this world. CFA is an example. Just another qualification which tells the world that I do know some financial stuff...

While I was on the train this morning, this thought had been dominating me.. "Why is it that I still think I don't have enough time? There are endless things to do. I haven't washed my clothes..I haven't cleaned up my room...I haven't done this, I haven't done that.." How can I make the best use of my time on Earth? What about now? There are countless things waiting for me to do at work...my calendar will always be filled...there are seemingly infinite things that I need to learn and know about in my workplace.

Where am I heading? Seemingly lost in this world of knowledge and chaos. What do You want me to focus on? I really want to hear from You. I think I'm getting lazy...I just don't have the motivation to do what I used to do...I couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and call some of the people that I should be caring for...I couldn't be bothered to engage people...probably I would rather that people will engage me now...There's no drive in me to get things done (except at work, coz I still need to get my paycheck). What does it mean to really rest in Jesus? I just want to love Jesus and love the people around me more...but love requires action as well...and I'm lazy to take any action now...so, how can I love? I don't even bother to initiate to have meals together with people and spend time with them. These kind of initiatives would be actions...and I basically just want to avoid all action...coz I've been an Action-Man for too long a time??

I am waiting for a miracle. I am waiting for God to intervene. I am waiting for Him to change me. I am waiting for Him to speak to me. I am waiting for Him to unveil His plan for my life. I am waiting...what should I do while I'm waiting? Should I act? Should I just read the Bible? Should I just let things flow and not take control of anything? But sometimes life doesn't offer me this luxury...there're things that need to be done everyday which if it's not done in time, I would have missed out the opportunity to do anything afterwards. Aren't You the God of opportunities? Aren't You the God who reveals Your glory everyday thru the heavens? Why am I in my current situation now? What do You want me to learn? What do you want me to do?

Sometimes, randomness is good. Just let God show you want He wants to show you everyday. I don't have to plan anything. The words 'if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail." may not be true all the time. Life isn't all about plans...you can plan and things will not turn out as you've planned. You can be lazy to plan and then surprise surprise...God has a plan behind all the seemingly random events happening around your life. Does God want us to plan at all? To what extent should we be planning? Plan as if no one's in control if we don't plan? How do we surrender our plans to God?

I think I've asked too many questions...if you're too bored, pls tell me how many questions I've asked...haha...